Solstice message for women

I get up in the morning and wash my face with the gel I got from the skincare lady. I stare at my face and see new wrinkles! My left eye lid is drooping--WHAT? My trip to eye doctor results in some kind of drops that may or may not work--"You've been defying gravity for a long time," the doc says. "If you need more come back."

I scan the internet for new products to apply to my skin. A list of the five best vitamin C serum comes up. I order the first one on the list thinking it must be the best...I stare into my bathroom cabinet where bottles and small jars fill the shelves. Retin-A, vitamin C serums, moisturizers with hyaluronic acid abound. But when I look it up I find that hyaluronic acid is actually not good for dry skin! My skin is ULTRA dry! And when I peruse my creams and serums further I realize that hyaluronic acid is in nearly everything ! I wondered why the moisture surge cream I got from Clinique seemed to dry out my skin, or the Neutrogena wrinkle cream I just bought aged me instead of helping. When my new C serum arrives I send it back. I am now down to a moisturizer that I got from my esthetician and aloe vera cream. The moisturizer is made by company called Cleora and it actually works better under my eyes than the expensive eye cream I ordered and have since thrown away. I am also using a tinted moisturizer with spf that has been tested on animals--I am horrified by my hypocrisy.

Giving you info on which products to buy was not my purpose here. I am a hypocrite when discussing these things but there is a large part of my soul that wants to be free of what society tells us--the idea that we have to look younger than we are. We live in a misogynistic society, our worth gone as soon as our hair turns gray. We are invisible, any idea of being wise women lost in a culture that reveres youth. My own struggle with this is why I'm writing. I do not want to worry about my wrinkles or examine my face for new ones. Obviously I want to look as good as I can, but I don't want to find myself in some doctor's office having some painful procedure done. I want to feel good inside myself so that a new wrinkle doesn't bother me. Where did this self-doubt come from? Are we all doomed to buying into the billion dollar anti-aging industry? Will I succeed in embracing this new idea of self-worth? I really hope so.

As an author I have hesitated to reveal my age--afraid that because I am 'old' my book sales will plummet. And yet what I write is deeper and has more meaning because I have learned things, gone through therapy, been to spiritual retreats, studied with teachers (gurus) and lived through times that younger women know nothing about. I was a hippy, (still am) a protester, a dope smoker, an artist. I trusted the universe and running out of gas on some back road didn't faze me. I had no cell phone when I drove at sixteen from Michigan to Pennsylvania. The world has changed, I get it. But what has happened to the wise woman? The crone? The goddess with three faces--youth, mother and wise woman? We need to take back our power (and reverse our self-doubt) ...stop buying into this needing to stay young crap. I want to age gracefully--do yoga to be supple and calm. To not be stressed in a society that is all about stress. To step away from the mainstream and make my own decisions about my life. To step out in all my beauty as an older women.

Today is the Solstice--give libations to the return of the light! Ask the universe for help in becoming the woman you want to be and send your wishes out into the universe on this auspicious day! Have a wonderful light-filled Yule and embrace the coming NEW year!

And thanks for reading.

Why I Write

This image says it all...I used a similar one on the cover of Book 1 of my Dark Goddess series, ECHOES. Stepping through into another world, either past, future or parallel, doesn't matter. Knowing there are other worlds out there, whether imagined or real--they exist. Magic exists. When I was around six I was sure I saw a fairy in the corner of my bedroom--she was blue and nearly see-through. I had an imaginary sister named Patricia and a very real woodchuck that slept under the covers in my bed. I spent time in the fields around our farm, my imagination growing with each passing day. We had no electronic devices in those days, not even T.V. --I'm sure it's hard to imagine what this was like in our device-filled world of today. Imagination took the place of cartoons, anime and video games. Daydreaming and staring at the clouds are important.

Despite the emotional turbulence I experienced, I am so grateful for my childhood when I was allowed to roam on my own. No worries about kidnapping or crazy people with guns. The world was different back then....maybe because it was less populated. I don't know for sure. Or even possibly because our news and social media is so immediate now and we are frightened by what we read. Is it really more dangerous or do we just think it is? All I know is that I would never pick up a hitchhiker now, but back then I was always picking people up, even with my little kiddos in the car. I could space out, run out of gas and know that I would be fine. I drove from Michigan to Maryland on my own at sixteen--without a cell phone. But I'm certainly dependent on mine now.

My writing comes from those early days. And I've lately noticed that if I look carefully at what I'm writing I find out more about myself. It's the unconscious flowing to the surface and arriving on the page. I could never write to market. By nature I'm not a planner (plotter)--even the idea of an outline gives me the heebie jeebies. When I sit down to write I have only a vague idea of what it will be. I may have a name, a sex, a general story line, but other than that my writing is like reading a book. I don't know what's coming next and my characters have a mind of their own. If they don't take control by the end of the first chapter there is something wrong. I sometimes dream the story and wake up with a conversation going on in my head. When I'm deep into a book I do plan at night, thinking about what happens next, and how to get from point A to point B, but many times those plans do not come to fruition. For instance in my current book I had the ending all figured out--until I got there and my character gave me the proverbial middle finger and did her own thing.

So to summarize: I write to learn about myself and to explore other worlds where magic really exists. I also write to explore issues I'm concerned about. To me the natural world is the only REAL world. I see the redwoods and I think, this is what's real, the politics of the day is not real, nor is the chaos of the social media world. Many will disagree, but I think that electronic devices are hindering us more than helping--yes, it's great to stay in touch and to have the library of google at our fingertips, but to be blind to the world around us is not a good thing.

Thanks for reading!!!

Mystical happenings

I have two mystical stories to share regarding my writing. The first is about Just Another Desert Sunset, my coyote shifter book 1. I wrote this book when we lived in Tucson and of course it was inspired by my desert surroundings. When I was at my desk one morning I happened to look out the window to see a coyote in our front yard. Our eyes met. And when he limped off and I realized he had a hurt leg I got chills. I was just writing the part where my coyote gets shot. While I was living there I protested against the predator masters who come into Tucson for the express reason to shoot coyotes and other animals that live in the desert. I gave money to the Coyote Project and mentioned them in my 2nd book of the series. And while we are on the subject, I've written a 3rd book in the series--Dream Catcher--very different than the first two, mostly a story of lost love (hopefully regained) and a woman having psychological problems...but good nonetheless! Still about the coyote and the woman he loves (or used to!) Find out for yourself here.

The second strange and wonderful magical happening was after I published The Night of the Jaguar. This is one of my Summer McCloud paranormal mysteries (my amateur sleuth can talk to ghosts) It takes place in Akumal where Summer and her new husband, Jerry have gone to honeymoon. When Jerry disappears and she tries to find him, the mystery part heats up fast. (There is a very serious element to this book which I won't reveal in case you haven't read it) A jaguar becomes a large part of the mystery and leads the way to...that's all I will say on the subject...but know that the jaguar is a mystical creature that is associated with foreknowledge and the power to face one's fears. After publishing and after I gave money to the Northern Jaguar project , I felt the spirit of the jaguar hanging out around me. When I went for a walk the jaguar was there, weaving around my legs. The sensation lasted for a week and then he was gone. I think the jaguar was thanking me from bringing attention to this magnificent animal.

This is why I write.

Please take advantage of my discounted books this season. You can find them on my website here. And thanks for reading!!!